CG's Watching Cartoons
by Rocky and CG
Summary: America invites Russia over to watch Disney cartoons. Tony does not approve.
1. Chapter 1

Tony sat in the back of the room with his laptop, glaring at the back of the couch in front of him. U.S. invited Russia over to watch cartoons again and to say that Tony did not approve was an understatement. It wasn't because Tony thought Russia wanted to hurt his bro. No, it was much, much worse. It was that those two might form some kind of… relationship. Tony shuddered at the thought. Who would have thought someone as violent as Russia would love Disney shows and 3D animated movies just like U.S. did? Tonight, they decided on a _Darkwing Duck_ marathon as a nostalgic change of pace. Tony always sat at the back of the room during these visits to make sure the only thing they did was watch cartoons. Tony didn't care that the Cold War was over, Russia better watch his ass!

Unlike most of the time, Russia's smile looked genuine. "Thank you for inviting me over again. It is nice to get away from my busy work schedule and watch your cartoons. They made me pleasure smile."

U.S. nodded. "Yeah, they are awesome!"

"What a [censored] kiss-ass! Bro really needs to stop hanging with [censored] stupid countries," Tony mumbled to Ameriwhale next to him. Ameriwhale shushed him and went back to watching the show. Tony felt the urge to throw his Red Bull can at Russia's head but U.S. would ground him. Why won't U.S. understand that he was only looking out for him?

Russia quietly sat in his usual spot at the far right end of the couch because if he sat any closer to U.S., Tony would telepathically threaten him with a good old-fashioned probing. (His race didn't actually do that stereotypical probing stuff but Russia didn't need to know that.) Tony was annoyed that Russia always put up with the abuse instead of leaving, but he guessed Russia preferred it to dealing with Belarus. Every time Russia came over, she would stand right outside the house the entire time. Once U.S. tried to invite her in so she could watch too, but she just hissed at him.

After a while, U.S. stood up and stretched. "Pause it. I'll be right back." As Russia fumbled around trying to find the right remote, U.S. headed for the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked.

U.S. grabbed a big bowl from the cabinet. "Just making popcorn for everyone, dude."

Tony sprang to his feet and rushed into the kitchen. "Dude, don't worry about it. I'll make it!"

"Huh? You sure? But I'm…"

Tony grabbed the bowl out his hand. "No problem! How about I get some drinks or something?"

Tony gave a quick glance at Russia. "Non-alcoholic."

"Are you up to something?"

Tony shook his head. "No, just helpin' out."

"The last time you said that Britain's coffee somehow ended up with…"

"I [censored] swear I am not up to something, bro."

U.S. shrugged. "OK, whatever."

Tony grumbled as he set up the popcorn maker. What was U.S. thinking? One bowl? One [censored] bowl? He is NOT sharing a [censored] bowl with that [censored]! They might touch hands! The horror! There would be no touching on Tony's watch! He'd rather have U.S. share popcorn with that [censored] limey than… Wait, no. Tony thought about it for a moment and concluded that if he had a choice between U.S. sharing popcorn with either Russia or Britain, he would just zap them both with a laser gun because he hated them equally. Those [censored] don't deserve any U.S.'s attention.

U.S. watched Tony divide up the popcorn into four smaller bowls. Tony was irked because he really wasn't up to something like that one time Britain was over. Tony didn't want another three-hour lecture on how to act when guests were over. He just wanted to make sure Russia ended up with the bowl with the most unpopped kernels, that's all. Russia's not getting the good stuff, that's for sure.

"Here," Tony said as he shoved the bowl into Russia's hand.

Russia looked at the bowl questionably. "Oh… Thank you."

"What? You think I poisoned it? That's more of your thing, Liverfailure Drunkovich."

"Tony!" U.S. crossed his arms and glared.

"Sorry."

Tony wasn't sorry. He went back to his seat next to Ameriwhale and opened his laptop as they went back to watching episodes.

There was a loud knock at the door. Russia immediately darted off the couch and hid behind Ameriwhale. U.S. walked over and opened the door.

"Oh, hi! Would you like to come in now? "

Belarus huffed and looked down. "He… Hello. … May I… May I wa… Nevermind. I still hate you too much." She turned around and stormed back to her waiting spot on the sidewalk.

"OK! Just let me know if you change your mind or have to use the bathroom!" U.S. closed the door. "Dude, did you see that?"

Ameriwhale made a happy noise.

"Yeah, she said a full sentence to you without trying to stab you," Tony said while continuing to look down at his laptop. "She's warming up to you, bro. Soon you two might be able to hold a three minute conversation."

A bit later, as a change of pace, U.S. decided to listen to the Russian version of the theme song. "What was that? 'Ну-ка, от винта.' What? 'Let's get dangerous' is so much better! Your translation doesn't make any sense!" U.S. took another slip of his Coke.

"It is aviation slang." Russia grabbed another handful of popcorn.

"Whatever. At least it's better than France's trans…"

Crack! A loud snapping sound occurred before Russia jumped up and grabbed the side of his face. "Gah!"

"Crap! Was that a kernel?"

Russia gave a pained look.

"…Your tooth?"

Russia slowly nodded his head.

"Ouch, dude."

"Oh, no," Tony said in a bored, monotone voice. Tony didn't actually plan that but he'll take any opportunity. "I guess this means that we have to cut this marathon short now. It's so early in the evening and we haven't even gotten halfway through the first season. Man… What a shame. So… Get out."

"Oh wait!" U.S. whipped out his phone. "This is the perfect time to show off alien tech! I'll just call Tony's boss and have him stop by with the ship…"

"Wait…" Tony stammered. "Don't bother my boss!"

"No worries, dude," U.S. said coolly. "Your boss and I are tight. He said I can call him up whenever I want. Alien tech is awesome! Tony's stuff is way more advanced and painless than anything on this planet. This will be a piece a cake to fix this and we can get back to the show in no time."

"Is it?" Russia mumbled.

Tony quickly turned to Russia and wondering why the [censored] he wasn't objecting to this. Russia stared out the window with a horrified expression. Oh, that's right. She was still standing out there, wasn't she? Tony thought about it and came to the conclusion that if he was in Russia's position, he would choose the aliens too.

Just as U.S. said, the mother ship came almost instantly and beamed everyone on board. The ship's crew ran over and crowded around U.S. to welcome him and ask where the [censored] he's been. Tony impatiently tapped his foot because he knew the longer they stayed the more likely his boss would give him actual work to do. He had no time for real work while Japan gave him several more video games to play.

After the crowd dispersed, U.S. decided to get his geek on and rave about all the ship's inventions and how cool it was. Russia just walked nervously behind him. Most visitors behaved like that their first time on the ship except for U.S. He acted like a little kid in a toy store and wanted to know how everything worked. The crew wasn't allowed to give humans any of their technology but no one said anything about not letting humans try it out and that is what U.S. did. He seemed to have an instant understanding of how they worked which impressed Tony's boss so much. At this point, U.S. could probably run the ship better than Tony could. What else would you expect from a guy who had a signed Bill Gates photo in his room?

"Hey, Tony!"

Tony stopped and hesitated to turn around. He [censored] hated his coworker Larry so, so much. Tony took a deep breath. "Larry."

"What are you doing here? Don't you have any important video games to be playing right now?" Larry laughed.

"[Censored] you, Larry." Tony looked over his shoulder and watched U.S. and Russia turned the corner.

Larry pointed. "Why are they hanging out? I thought they fought all the time."

Tony groaned. "Don't get me [censored] started. It turns out that guy likes the [censored] kiddy cartoons U.S. makes so that [censored] gets invited over a lot to watch them. I still don't trust him and I have to watch him constantly. The worst thing is I can't figure out how to [censored] get rid of him."

"Did you try an 'anal probe' threat?"

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "But I guess he would prefer that to the hellbeast that stands outside waiting for him to come out. U.S. won't let me physically throw guests out of the house either. It's [censored] frustrating! I'm only trying to protect my bro against these [censored]! He might put up a strong front but he gets hurt easily. You haven't been there those nights when he would run crying to his brother because of the stress."

Suddenly, they heard a commotion coming from around the corner. Russia was desperately trying to break away from U.S.'s grip. "WHAT WAS THAT CRAZY THING?"

"Dude, it only looks like a metallic version of that facehugger from the Alien movie!" U.S. said as he dragged Russia back down the hallway. "I tried it before and believe me you won't even remember anything! Tony told me that the best indicator that an alien abduction story is fake is when the person remembers. You'll never want to go back to dentists ever again after this. This is way superior to anything humans can do! I wish they would let me buy their technology but they said something like…"

Tony and Larry listened until U.S. was too far away to hear. Larry then turned to Tony. "You're right: Your 'fragile flower' really needs your protection from that guy."

Tony couldn't remember the last time he felt so enraged. "OK, so that [censored] has been slipping ever since he [censored] up the Cold War but he still can't be trusted! I wish U.S. would realize that he should stop hanging out with [censored] like him. I'm not talking about Japan or What's-His-Face because they're his bros. No, I mean he should start settling down with a nice country and stop going out with [censored] countries that piss him the [censored] off all the time."

"Like who?"

"Poland, for starters. They get along so well and have a history together that goes far back. Poland loves video games, Chicago, and hating communism. The CIA even calls him the '51st State'. That's soul mate material right there! There are plenty more reasons!"

Larry snorted. "Is it the fact that if Poland comes over a lot means that Lithuania will come over a lot one of those reasons?"

Tony blushed. "No…"

"Oh, give it up! You brought Lithuania up here before and we all saw how you acted around him. All professional and polite! You were just the little gentleman, weren't you?"

"Larry, go [censored] yourself!"

Larry roared with laughter.

"What's so funny?" U.S. asked.

Tony cringed. He didn't hear U.S. and Russia come up behind him during Larry's obnoxious laughter.

Larry composed himself. "Well, you see…"

Tony kicked him in the shin. "He told an alien racist joke. You wouldn't get it."

"Oh. Well, we're done." U.S. glanced over to Russia. "I told you it was no big deal."

Russia thought for a moment. "It was how you said, but I still think they should really work on their creepy designs."

U.S. nodded. "But they're great inspirations for my movies. Remember that tank filled with the green stuff? That's…"

Tony groaned. "Can we just [censored] go now?"

Larry chuckled. "I wonder why."

Tony kicked him again.

Hours passed back at the house and Tony threw his third Red Bull can to the floor. It was 4 AM and U.S. and Ameriwhale were already asleep. Russia was still wide awake but that was probably because he had such an eventful day.

Tony was still fuming over what Larry said. How dare that [censored] Larry think that he would set U.S. up with Poland just to get Lithuania! Sure it would be nice for Liet to visit more but everything he said about Poland was true. Those two were an item during the Cold War!

"I need another [censored] Red Bull." Tony yawned as he sat up. He looked towards the couch and noticed Russia bending over where U.S. was sleeping. "What the [censored] are you doing?" Tony snarled as he jumped onto the back of the couch.

"I am trying to find the remote!" Russia snapped back.

"Oh because the remote just happened to magically end up in his blanket, you lying [censored]!"

He glared at Tony. "I am tired by your threats! You always act like I am up to something!"

Tony feigned shock. "You? Noooo…"

Russia growled. "You listen! I am not up to anything! It's true that we might disagree on things. Just because our governments still do not get along does not mean I wish to bash U.S. on the head with my pipe at every available opportunity! No matter how much you want us to hate each other, we really do not." Russia pointed to the screen. "This show is one of the first shows U.S. showed to me after the Iron Curtain fell. We also have a space station together! I even have the Disney channel in my country. I use Twitter and Livejournal! Does that sound like two countries that want each other dead?" Russia stopped for a moment and gave Tony a malicious grin. "It pleases me how much it annoys you that I like Levi's jeans, 3D movies, and video games! Not just Tetris but also games like Civilization and Team Fortress 2. We are not so different and that angers you, does it not? I am right, da?"

"Russia…" Tony interrupted. He sighed and leaned in closer. "Shut the [censored] up." Tony jumped off the couch and strolled towards the kitchen.

Tony grabbed two Red Bulls from the fridge because he knew it would be a long night. Russia went into a rage and started swearing at him in Russian. U.S. abruptly awoke and fell off the couch. Tony shrugged as he opened one of the cans at the kitchen table. He took a sip and watched as U.S. was trying to grab Russia's pipe away. Russia may be right but that didn't mean Tony had to be nice to him. Even if U.S. moved on, Tony would never let go of that grudge. Not unless Lithuania asked him to. Tony took another sip. He knew as soon as U.S. learned what had happened, he was in big trouble… but it was [censored] worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

"11:23. Yeah, I think I should get [censored] up now." Tony yawned and stretched. Tony sighed at the space his T.V. used to be. He wasn't allowed to go out, watch T.V., use the internet, have his iPhone, or play video games because U.S. had unfairly grounded him for the rest of the month for saving him from being [censored] on the couch by Russia. U.S. explained to Tony that Russia was only coming over to watch cartoons, but Tony knew better! It pained Tony that his best buddy in the whole wide universe would believe that drunken [censored] over him. Now U.S. took all his luxuries taken away until the end of the month… unless he apologized to that [censored] Russia. That wasn't going to [censored] happen. One would think it would be difficult to ground an alien but not even his alien buddies could bail him out of this one. "The end of the month cannot come [censored] fast enough."

Tony kicked away the bed sheets and glanced at the circled date on his wall calendar. It was the date Russia was coming back over to watch the second season of _Darkwing Duck_ and U.S. made it absolutely clear that Tony was not allowed to join them or even leave his room during that time. Tony lifted his bed mattress and pulled out an envelope and a notebook. "If that big-nosed [censored] thinks this is over, it's [censored] not! It's far from [censored] over! I just have to get more [censored] resourceful." He ripped out a sheet from the notebook and started jotting down a list. For over a week Tony had been planning and now all he needed was a sap to go out and get the necessary things. He knew just the guy too.

The aroma of coffee filled the house and at this time of day it meant that guests must be over. Tony headed down the stairs. When he was close enough to listen in on the conversation going on in the kitchen, he developed a headache. That [censored] Britain was sitting at the kitchen table and talking about business stuff. Would U.S. ever learn not to associate with [censored] stupid countries? Tony stopped a moment. "This turn of events may actually be useful," he predicted

.

U.K. smirked while U.S. gave Tony a quick warning glance as he entered the kitchen. Tony grumbled. Must U.S. tell everyone that he was grounded? Tony shook his head and focused. It was time to put his plan into action.

"We're out of Red Bull!" Tony moaned.

U.S. took a sip of his coffee. "I'll go later, Tony. Can't you see I'm busy right now? Drink something else. Coffee is over there. We also have milk in the fridge."

"Dude, I don't want coffee and I didn't travel [censored] galaxies to come to Earth to drink your [censored] disgusting milk!" Tony waved the notebook in his hand. "I'm trying to write a novel and energy drinks help me write! If you won't go then give me the phone, so I can call… "

U.S. interrupted. "Do you have money for this?"

"Of course. I want three cases since this is going to be a long novel."

U.S. pulled out his cell. "I will call him to see if he'll pick some up for you. I'll be right back," he said as walked out of the kitchen into the front room.

U.K. burst into a fit of giggles and looked around at his so-called "friends". "Look at the poor grounded alien, everyone! Serves him right after what he did to my coffee!"

"You laugh with your [censored] imaginary friends now, but you really should be thanking me," Tony stated.

U.K. snorted. "Not likely."

"Do you know why I was grounded, [censored]?"

"No, he didn't mention it."

"I was grounded because I wrecked bro's sleepover."

U.K. became serious. "Sleep… over?"

"Sleepover… with that [censored] Russia."

"You… You're just trying to pull my leg! I haven't heard about that!"

Tony had U.K. exactly where he wanted him. "Don't believe me, you [censored]? Ask him yourself when he gets back! They were having a sleepover… on the couch. Alone." Tony headed towards the front room. "Oh, and they are planning on another one in a few days. I won't be there to stop it this time."

"Why… Why should I care what that bloody idiot does?" U.K. stammered as Tony left the kitchen.

Tony was still amazed how easy it was to push that [censored]'s buttons. He turned toward U.S. as he climbed up on the couch. "Hey! Is he coming?"

U.S. shoved his cell back in his pocket. "Yes. You can sit and wait until he gets here. Don't even try to turn that T.V. on!" he warned as he headed back into the kitchen.

Tony shrugged as he tapped the top of the notebook on his lap. He waited for the moment when Mr. [censored] _Tsundere _started a scene, so he could set things up. Not that it was necessary but his plan would work easier if U.S. was too distracted to notice.

A short time later, Canada struggled in the door with three 24-packs of the energy drinks.

"A little help here, Tony?"

Tony ran over and grabbed a pack. "[censored]! Thanks, dude! I didn't hear you come in." Tony shut and quietly bolted the door as Canada set the other packs down near the couch. Canada was staying for a while whether he wanted to or not.

"Geez, don't you think that drinking all these energy drinks is unhealthy for you?"

"I don't have to worry about your [censored] human problems."

"Must be nice." Canada gazed toward the kitchen. "I wonder what Britain's getting angry about this time."

"He found out that [censored] Russia was over."

Canada rolled his eyes. "Really? He's jealous that Russia came over and watched a children's cartoons?"

"I don't blame him of being suspicious of that [censored] though."

Canada's eyes quickly turned to Tony. "That goes for you too! Sorry to say but brother was right to ground you. You're getting paranoid over nothing! Russia isn't planning anything, so you don't have to act like such a hooser every time he hangs out."

"I distrust that [censored] far too much to think he's not up to something."

Canada continued. "But he's not! Just because you hate Russia doesn't mean they can't be friends. I'm friends with both brother and Cuba and everything's fine… as long as I keep them far away from each other as humanly possible. Why don't you just do something else when he's over, eh?"

Tony was bored of this lecture and decided it was time to start the second part of his plan.

"Oh, right. I put your money over there near the video games."

"Good job changing the subject."

Tony ignored him. "Since it was short notice I decided to throw in a little extra."

"You didn't have to do that. Thanks." Canada shoved the bills into his pocket as he looked through the stack of video games on the T.V. stand.

"You can play them if you want. I'm grounded so no video games for me. Once that [censored] leaves, I have to go back upstairs."

"Well… I was going to stop by later anyway. I don't have any plans for today and was wondering what bro was up to."

Tony knew that in a few moments Canada would indeed have something to do today. He just had to be patient.

Canada finally picked out a game and turned on the system. "I guess if you can't play video games…" He was surprised to find the wireless controller already waiting for him on the couch.

U.S. poked his head into the front room after he heard the T.V. turn on. "Oh! I didn't hear you come in, bro."

"What else is new?" Canada replied as he continued playing.

"I'll join you a bit later, dude. Britain started acting nuts."

U.K. grabbed his shoulder. "Where do you think you're going? I'm not finished with you yet, idiot!"

"Dude… What is your problem today?" U.S. demanded as he headed back into the kitchen.

Tony knew he didn't have much time left and sat closer to Canada. "So you said you didn't have plans for later, right?" He slipped the envelope out from the notebook. "Well, I was hoping you'd run a few more errands for me since I can't leave the house."

Canada paused his game and took the envelope. He opened it and saw money and a piece of paper.

"I need that stuff by tonight or tomorrow morning at the latest. You can keep the change."

"This list… I don't believe this!" Canada snapped at Tony. "You… You're trying to resort to blackmail now? ARE YOU CRAZY? No! No! NO! You are not dragging me into this! You have to stop this delusional nonsense! I will not be a part of your twisted plan, DO YOU UNDER…"

Tony held a pen-like device to his face.

"Hey, that looks like that mind-wipe thing from that Will Smith movie," Canada pointed out right before the device produced a bright flash of light at his face. He slumped forward.

"Sort of," Tony replied. "The conversation we had today never happened. You are just playing video games. Later, you will find the envelope and the list in your pocket and you will think you promised U.S. that you would get it for me. After you get everything, you will come over and bring it upstairs to my room and then immediately forget about it."

Tony slid the envelope into Canada's pocket then tried to nudge Canada awake. Tony wished that the device worked as well as it does in the films. There were so many rules and side effects and if Tony ended up abusing it one more time, his superiors would make him leave Earth again. It was the reason U.S. believed he met Tony in Roswell and not earlier. Tony had to be extremely careful using this thing for any simple task. He produced a loud clap and Canada slowly lifted his head and blankly stared at the T.V.

"Close enough," Tony observed and hid the device back in the notebook.

Not a moment too soon because U.K. stormed right out of the kitchen and headed straight for the door. "There's no problem! No problem at all! We're done talking, so I'll just be leaving then! … WHY IS THIS DOOR LOCKED? WHY WON'T YOU [incoherent babbling]? SLEEPOVERS! [incoherent babbling] STUPID GIT [more incoherent babbling]!" He slammed the door behind him.

U.S. rubbed his temple and sat next to Canada. "Tony!"

"I'm going. He sucks at it anyway," Tony replied as he headed up the stairs.

U.S. sighed. "I don't even know half of what Britain was complaining about. Does he act that way around you, doesn't he?"

Canada continued to stare blankly at the T.V.

"Bro… Are you high? I thought I told you we do that at your house and not mine."

That night, Tony heard a knock at his bedroom door. Canada stood there holding a large cardboard box.

"Thanks, dude!" Tony grabbed the box and shut the door behind him. He rummaged through the box and found that, while the main item was exactly as he wanted, Canada got creative on some of the other items. He could still use them, but they weren't what he had in mind. The reason Tony didn't like the mind control part of the device that much was because it was such a pain in the ass to use. Orders have to be annoyingly precise and sometimes it took forever for the control to actually end. "Oh [censored]!" Tony exclaimed as he opened his door again.

Canada stood right in front of the door and waited for an order.

Tony had to come up with something before U.S. realized he was up here. "Go downstairs and crash… I mean, fall asleep on the couch until the control wears off," Tony commanded.

Canada turned around and headed downstairs. Tony knew U.S. wouldn't become

suspicious that his brother was over since he hung out here all the time. It wasn't until after Canada headed downstairs that Tony realized that U.S. was also laying on the couch watching whatever [censored] show he watched on Wednesdays. Tony covered his eyes as Canada did exactly what he ordered: He crashed on the couch, right on top of his brother, and fell asleep.

"Wha…? Dude… I'm not your pillow," U.S. said as he gave Canada a light shove. Canada didn't budge, so U.S. just rolled his eyes and went back to watching his show.

Tony released a sigh of relief. "Glad that's over with. Now I have to get to work before that [censored] comes over." Tony went back into his room.

Two days later, Russia walked towards U.S.'s house while Belarus nagged about what he was wearing. He decided earlier to take his old Levi's jeans out of the closet in hopes that maybe that dumb alien would get it through his thick skull that the Cold War ended 20 years ago. The jeans just made Belarus angrier. Russia wished that his little sister didn't have to follow him every single time he hung out with U.S. and stand outside on the sidewalk all night until he left.

"Brother, just forget about this stupid get together if it makes you so angry. Stay with me!"

"I always have a great time, sister. It is only that aggravating alien that causes problems. He is grounded this time, so I do not have to worry about him!"

Belarus chuckled. "Are you sure of that, brother? Do you honestly believe he has given up? He has plans."

"Let him try," Russia said defiantly. "I will not let that guy intimidate me! He is full of hot air. He has threatened me since the 1920s and if he was going to do something, he would have done it by now. Whatever he has planned, I have been through worse."

"You go through a lot of trouble to make friends. You do not need friends! Your little sister is all you will ever need! Forget the cartoon watching and tonight we can go through this huge bridal catalogue I got in the mail. We can spend the night picking out stuff for our wedding. That sounds like a much better time than spending time with stupid countries and their annoying pet aliens."

"Well, sister… LOOK OVER THERE!" Russia sprinted to U.S.'s house before Belarus could grab him. Tonight, he would take his chances with the alien. He banged quickly on the front door as Belarus glared at him from a distance.

"I'm coming," U.S. opened the door. "Hey, you're here early!" Russia rushed past him as he cheerfully waved to Belarus. She made a rude gesture back. "I still have no idea how she can stand outside all night," U.S. said as he closed the door.

Russia sat on the couch next to Canada and watched as he failed playing Mario Kart.

"I have to take him home," U.S. pointed to Canada. "Bro was acting pretty funny the last few days. He slept the entire day yesterday and I could not wake him up until this morning. Now he says he has double vision, so I can't let him leave by himself."

"I don't know how it happened," Canada insisted. "I came over to your house to deliver something and next thing I know I woke up on your couch! Something strange is going on… AND IT WASN'T DRUGS!" Canada stood up and handed Russia the controller.

"Whatever you say," U.S. turned towards Russia. "I'll be back shortly. Stuff is on the counter and in the fridge if you want anything."

Russia started playing Mario Kart as they left and faintly heard his sister yell at them as they drove off. Russia looked over his shoulder and saw that Ameriwhale was watching him play.

"Hello. How are you doing, whale?"

Ameriwhale made some happy whale noises Russia couldn't understand, so he just nodded and went back to his game.

Russia prepared himself for when that stupid alien would show himself. This was the perfect time to make his move since U.S. was out of the house. That paranoid alien was probably waiting in the shadows for Russia to do something. Well, the alien can stay hidden the whole time because Russia wasn't going to do anything but play Mario Kart.

After about 30 minutes of playing, Russia heard Tony head down the stairs, obviously hiding something behind his back. Russia concentrated on his game. Tony strolled to the door and opened it.

"What a nice day outside," Tony noted. "This day would be much better spent if a certain [censored] drunk decided to forget watching cartoons and enjoyed the nice weather instead. That's what I would do if I was a…"

"I am not leaving," Russia interrupted. "What makes you think I would listen to a crazy alien who has a perverted imagination?"

"Not even if that alien is warning you about what is going to happen tonight if you stay?"

"Was that a threat?" Russia huffed and went back to his game. "You are starting to bore me with your games. Go away."

"I might be grounded, but I can still make your life a [censored] living hell."

"I am only here to watch cartoons, nothing more. Why do you continue to act like this?"

"Because I [censored] hate you."

"Are you going to threaten me with that laser you are hiding behind your back? That will not work. Besides, you know as well as I do that your 'bro' will not let you touch me. I sincerely doubt the whale will cover for you."

"It's not a laser, you [censored]," Tony snapped as he produced a bottle of vodka from behind his back. "I'm getting sick of all the [censored] alien stereotypes you [censored] humans come up with!"

"And I do not like you calling me a drunk all the time!"

"Anyway… If you leave and never come back, then nothing will happen. I'll even throw in this bottle so you won't get lonely."

"No. Nyet. Whatever the word 'no' is in your own language… Go back upstairs. You are grounded, remember?"

Tony glared at him. "Fine, if you want to do things the hard way." He shrugged and launched the vodka bottle outside. "Don't say I didn't warn you. You're going to regret it!" Tony slammed the front door. "By the way, nice jeans," Tony noted as he went back upstairs.

Russia scowled and went back to playing. He wondered how Tony was going to get away with anything, with U.S. being there, unless that alien planned on doing something before he came back. He decided he would look over his shoulder often until then.

Nothing else happened until U.S. walked through the door an hour later. "OK, I'm back. It's strange how weird bro was acting for the past few days. I told him he should see a doctor. Maybe he had one too many hockey pucks to the head. He said that he thinks it has something to do with a pen…" he continued while he walked into the kitchen to grab some snacks.

Russia wasn't paying attention to him. He was certain that crazy little alien would have done something by now. Russia stopped playing and stood up to shut off the game system. Nothing in the room looked out of the ordinary… besides there being a whale hanging out. He felt bewildered that Tony wasted his lone opportunity. Was Tony's threat just a bluff? No… No, Tony was definitely serious.

"… and then bro walked to the wrong house. Hey! How are you doing, whale buddy?" U.S. remarked as he reentered the front room. He placed snacks and a cooler on the coffee table and then walked over to the DVD player.

Russia glanced under the couch before sitting back down. What could that alien be up to?

"At least it should be quieter than last time. Tony acts weird when certain countries come over," U.S. remarked as he cracked open the DVD case. "It's not just you though; he's not allowed near Britain's coffee or Netherland's weed stash anymore. But he acts so perfectly when Poland and Lithuania are over, so I don't understand why he can't act that way all… Oh!"

"What is wrong?"

"How did the _Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers_ DVDs get into the _Darkwing Duck_ case?" U.S. questioned.

Russia froze. He knew exactly what that crazy alien was up to now.

"I always put them back in the right case. Well, whatever. We can watch this instead. You like this one too, right?" U.S. hummed the theme song as he put the DVD in. He pressed buttons on the remote and plopped down on the couch.

"I… I like it," Russia quickly nodded. "Like" was a bit of an understatement. Russia was infatuated with it. Well, with the character Gadget Hackwrench that is. Russia grumbled as he grabbed a Coke from the cooler. How dare that infuriating alien bring Gadget into this! He glared up in the direction of Tony's room. So it reasoned that Tony was that troll he had to ban from his Gadget fan community on Livejournal for leaving all those flames about his fluffy _Chip 'n Dale_ fanfiction a few months back. Russia should have realized this sooner considering the troll called him a [censored] drunk several times in badly written Russian. Tony's plan obviously was to use this information to try to embarrass him out of the house.

As the episodes played, Russia tried as hard as he could to not start blushing. It wasn't his fault that Gadget was so clever and completely adorable! He grabbed one of the couch pillows and hugged it close to his face. Maybe that would cover up his blushing. Tony had some nerve to tease him over this when that dumb alien played those filthy games Japan brought over. It was no secret because Tony left one on the coffee table the last time U.S. threw a party.

"What are you doing?" U.S. asked. "_Chip 'n Dale _isn't scary."

"Uh…" Russia was caught off-guard. Drat, the pillow didn't work.

"Oh! Your face is red. Are you hot? I have popsicles."

"No… No, thank you. But I do have a headache." Curse that stupid alien!

"Yeah, coming from somewhere frozen to somewhere hot will do that. I'll get you an aspirin or something." U.S. headed toward the kitchen.

Russia was not in the mood to explain to U.S. for the billionth time that his house also had a summer. At least this proved that Tony's little plan to embarrass him in front of U.S. wouldn't work. Even if U.S. did figure out that he had a major crush on Gadget, he wouldn't care; he hung out with that _otaku _Japan, for crying out loud! Tony would just have to deal with Russia not getting all worked up over a very cute cartoon mouse like his perverted mind thought would happen.

U.S. returned and handed Russia some aspirin… and a popsicle. Russia felt that tonight was going to be a long night.

Three hours later and Russia felt himself getting tired. He looked down at U.S. who currently used his leg as a pillow as he slept. Russia didn't mind because anything that would piss off Tony was fine by him. It'd been 45 minutes since U.S. fell asleep but still no sign of that dumb alien.

Russia took one more glance around the room as he positioned a pillow on the couch's armrest. So Tony was bluffing after all. Russia was a bit disappointed in the laziness of this plan. Was this honestly the best that crazy alien could come up with? He rested his head against the pillow and watched some more episodes as he drifted off to sleep.

Sometime later he woke but pretended to still be asleep. U.S. still used his leg as a pillow and he didn't want to wake him up. Also, that [censored] alien broke the rules and came downstairs; he just quietly waited until Russia dozed off. He bet that Tony hid a small surveillance camera somewhere so he could watch everything that was going on. Russia was careless to think Tony didn't have anything else up his sleeve. The whole switching the DVDs thing was a front. Russia didn't have to open his eyes to realize that the pillow he clutched was not the pillow he had last night. One thing, the pillow he had now was a body pillow. Since Tony hung out with Japan, Russia had a good idea what was on the body pillow. Now Tony has pictures of Russia sleeping with a Gadget body pillow that he planned to use for blackmail.

It wasn't the time to get mad. That's what that stupid alien wanted, and Russia wasn't going to let him win. Tony thinks he's won, but this was far from over. Russia needed to plan now. Showing U.S. the body pillow would not do anything. Sure, Tony would be in huge trouble, but that alien would probably hide the camera somewhere safe till he got his computer back. If Russia wanted to get the pictures back and erased them, he would either have to never come back… or turn the tables on Tony.

Russia carefully lifted U.S.'s head and stood up. Russia's plan required U.S. not learning about this at all. He removed the Gadget cover from the body pillow, afterwards kicking the body pillow underneath the couch, and he folded the cover. He then walked over to his coat hanging by the door and shoved the cover into the pocket. Now that everything was settled, he headed towards the kitchen and plugged in the toaster. He was going to have some waffles.

After breakfast, Russia returned to the front room. He sensed that smug alien was staring at him from the top of the stairs. He wished he could introduce Tony's head to his pipe, but he had to let Tony think he won. So Russia pretended not to notice him as he headed over towards the window. "SISTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Wha…" U.S. jolted himself off the couch.

"I have to go. Sister is drunk on the lawn." Russia stormed over to the front door and grabbed his coat. "I had a nice time, so I thank you."

"It's been fun! I can't wait for next time."

"Uh… Yes…" Russia grabbed the door handle. He couldn't sound too confident in front of Tony. He opened the door and stepped outside. "Until next time, whenever that may be," he stated as he shut the door.

Belarus lounged on the grass and laughed as Russia picked her up. "Hey brother, I have accepted the present of vodka U.S. threw at me yesterday, but I still hate him! Since I drank most of it, he cannot have it back! That is funny!"

"Sister…" Russia grumbled.

"What is your problem? Did stupid alien do something? I knew he would! Why don't you beat him or something?"

"You know I cannot do that. Besides, I rather see him suffer."

"Oh, so you have a plan?"

"Of course I do." Russia grinned. "Tony will not be smiling next time I come over! Let us go home."

"Not again," Belarus groaned. "Fine… Next time though, tell him to throw higher quality vodka at me! This stuff was cheap!"


End file.
